Just a few realizations about things that make my life complete-- or rather, keep me alive and sane. Some of these things are silly, but others, I don't know what I would do without.
- The gospel. I could go throughout life without anything but the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I know I could still find peace through the Savior and the principles of His true gospel. I know that I don't always act like this is my number one, but getting older has opened my eyes to the true nature of life and I know where my priorities need to be, whether I live life like that or not.
- My family. Unconditional love has no limit, rhyme or reason. I see each member of my family in myself, and myself in each member. I revel in the memories of when we were all younger, lived in the same house, sat in the same row at church, opened Christmas presents at the same time (well, sort of). Growing up and growing apart don't have to be the same; all it takes is effort.
- Self-worth. I have learned that the most important part of knowing that you are an important human being does not come from the praise of a friend or teacher; it does not come from the store, the soccer field, or the mirror. It comes from knowing of a surety that Heavenly Father knows who you are, and loves you personally. In my experience, it is not only knowing, but feeling His love for me that has literally built every piece of my self esteem, and kept me whole.
- The scriptures. It's funny how you gain a love and passion for the scriptures when you actually study them, apply them, live them, know them. I know that the scriptures are given of God for our day, and our benefit. 2 Nephi 19:23, "And I did read many things unto them which were written in the books of Moses; but that I might more fully persuade them to believe in the Lord their Redeemer I did read unto them that which was written by the prophet Isaiah; for I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." -- scripture mastery :)
- My friends. The reason my friends are so far down on the list is because without all the things before them, I wouldn't have made it anywhere in the first place. Basically the only requirement I have for my friends is that they make me laugh (which, if you know me very well, isn't too hard.) But they each have deep passions of something in their lives, and I respect them for that.
- Music. Although at times some of my music of may sound irreverent, and at times I may drive with my music playing too loudly, but this is simply due to my love for music. It allows me to see the beauty in everything, including various styles of music. I must admit that I have an embarassingly wide knowledge of different musicians and bands, which provides me with the perfect soundtrack for my life. It's pretty fun :)
- Seminary. Being seminary class president has helped me realize how much people take seminary for granted, and how little some people take from it. I have learned that with an open heart, it is not Brother Farmer that is teaching the lesson, or a classmate that is giving a devotional, but rather the Spirit taking every opportunity to speak directly to me, and I would never want to deprive myself of that spiritual gift.
- Good examples. This kind of blends in with some of the things I've already mentioned, such as family, friends, and the scriptures. But there are tons of people in my life that I couldn't do without their examples, such as Young Womens leaders, President Monson, Brother Farmer, Sister Despain, etc.
- Being brave. For me, growing up is about having courage. You can't grow up and experience the world if you're not brave enough to try everything. For example, recently I have done several things that I was actually scared of doing on my own, such as using an ATM machine, asking for job applications, and driving on the freeway. I don't know if I'm the only one that was nervous about these things, but I'm glad that I was nervous. If you never need to have courage, you can never be proud of yourself; you can never say, "Good job! You did that all on your own." You wouldn't be able to feel yourself progress if you didn't make yourself do things that scared you.
- My past. I wish I could say that the last year or so does not leave me feeling bitter or resentful-- but unfortunately, I cannot. I will probably hold on to those vivid memories and raw emotions with a vengeance for a long time to come. However, I know that those experiences represent how strong I am. I know that I was given those experiences because Heavenly Father knew that I could get through them, through Him. Ultimately, I am grateful for my past.
- Art. I always thought that I would major in Graphic Design in college, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've been told I'm pretty good... But not great, and probably not good enough to get into an art program, pass all my art classes, and eventually land a job. I just wish I had the "wow" factor that I did when I was younger. I guess that's what you get when you focus your time on other things. And no, I'm not selling myself short, either. I'm just being realistic.
- Guitar. Guitar fulfills my need for a sense of accomplishment, even though I usually only master the intros. When I started playing, my mentality was, "I'm going to play this guitar until I'm happy," and somehow, it's done just that. When I play, everything goes away, and for once in my life I feel determined and dedicated to something. Today my mom walked in on me playing, and she said, "I have a feeling you're going to be really good at that someday." I hope she's right!
- High school. My logic is, I'm just going to appreciate it while it lasts, because it's going to take just as long to get done and over with whether I want it to or not. But for the record, I really just wish I could hurry up and graduate. I'm done with the 15-year-old high school drama scene. Apparently there's more for me to learn, though, because otherwise some divine providence would allow me to get out of Westview High School once and for all-- or at least, something really amazing would happen to make it all worth it. Either way.
- Adventures. My first adventure was working at a Boy Scout Camp, and some would disagree whether that was actually an adventure or not... But it was something completely different from what I was used to, and in the end, I loved it. In my opinion, that is the definition of an adventure. I want to go on lots of adventures in my lifetime. The top of my list is Alaska, but who knows where life is going to take me next?
I wish I could articulate myself better, but there's the things that I've been realizing are important lately. I'm working on actually liking myself, and I figure, if I actually know who I am, that will probably help. :)